so much

Yikes, I haven't been here for a while.

So much is going on and keeping me busy. I have been doing a lot of furniture "things" and moving a lot of heavy furniture and throwing out my back. Thank goodness I'm a therapist and have all the bells and whistles at my disposal cos it was hell.

We also fostered a dog for a few days, her name was Stella and she was lovely and I sort of hoped I would fail at fostering in a good way but it all sucked and I failed in a bad way. more on that later.

Crazy girls are doing great, the homeschooler is as happy as a clam working at the pace she sets and the pickle is doing great in school.

I'm starting a new venture and it is taking the last few minutes of my time but it will all be unveiled soon.

I'm not sure whether to be proud or scared that the girls are such good grafitti artists but they are and proved it with this re-vamp.

as always, no before photos

I wanted a space that was Rosies and showed her. 

drawing on furnitre is very therapeutic

these are gorgeous aren't they. they have nothing to do with this post but they make me smile. 

all change

If you don't blog for nearly a month you come back to find that the format has changed and you no longer know what you are doing. Lesson learnt.

Should I do a massive catch up post from October til now or lots of catch up posts...who the hell knows, all I do is that there is very little time to get in to the swing of things and I need to get all sorted out. Sheesh what a slacker.

whirl windy

Life is a little whirl windy right now and I am not sure I want it all written down. It might sound like the biggest pity party ever and that isn't me. I'm just busy to the point of distraction and things keeping going against the grain. It's all good in the scheme of things, really.

The amount of hatred and negativity due to the election is absurd. No one seems to be happy with the idea of this orange man running the country but lawd knows some one must have voted for him. Either way we should ban together to be positive and make changes rather than have tantrums. Yuck.

On another note I have a bazillion photos of my seesters trip and turkey day is just around the corner. Christmas shopping is nearly done and everything is on the right track there.

I'll be back soon I'm just dodging bullcrap and election vibes.

my, never humble, opinion

It's been a very long time since I flew in this country as a member of the general public and not as the wife of an employee of a major airline, in other words, I haven't been a paying customer for over 20 yrs. People a lot has changed, like a LOT.

I flew to England last December on my favourite carrier in the world and let me tell you that was a whole different experience than this domestic cattle car that I travelled in the other day.But as always I will bring you the humourous aspect of it all.

• Who knew you had to pay to check your bags? Actually I think I might have but that seems so absurd and ridiculous to me that I might have forgotten. Now I get why every single time I have flown in the main cabin, there was NEVER any space in the overhead bins. People take their shit on board with them so they don't have to pay. It's genius of them, sort of. 
• And those bags that you check and have to pay for, well who knew they couldn't be more than 50lbs or there was a $100 fine. Get out of here, this is ridiculous. I take everything with me when I fly and I check the lot. I don't want a tonne of small bags and I only want one, or maybe two at the most, cases to schlep about. My bags are big and beefy. When I checked us in an employee came over to be polite, helpful, a pain in the arse, you choose and she pointed out if my bag was heavy to place some things in carry on. That's when I found out why. Hah, our bag weighed exactly 50lbs. LOL
• Next question, seats? We were separated by few people but I wasn't ever so bothered. The lady said, would you like to sit together? If you want to move to this aisle seat it will be another $69. I kid you not I nearly dropped the F bomb. So let me see if I have got this right, you've charged me the price of a seat, you've charged me to bring my clothing and wash kit and now you want to charge me $69 so that I can sit with my family. BITE ME. People I am not cheap but these things are part of the flying experience. Of course I am going to be checking a bag, I am flying with my children for a get away. We will need to wash and change clothing so that we don't smell and catch a disease. I truly find this all extremely funny.
• Finally on board, Ro in the window seat, me in the middle, fabulously interesting business man to my left and my oldest daughter god knows where, actually she was across the aisle at the other window. Business man starts a conversation and it's about work. We talk about every aspect of it, he should have been in First Class but no room Mr. Loyal Customer, sit in the cattle car. Such service. Then came the snack cart pushed my an employee with a face so angry looking I actually believed she might have been in pain. I am British, I have exemplary manners but you would have thought that both Mr Business Man and I were something filthy on the bottom of her shoe and something unsavory with no manners and definitely not the reason why she has a job and definitely not the reason for her job. He and I started to laugh, I might have started it and I/we couldn't stop. If you HATE your job that much, change it. Life is short and is all about decisions.I know for a fact you can move about in a company, that one at least. 
• The flight was short, just over 3 hours, thank goodness. 
• Flying domestically is now equivalent to riding the Greyhound bus. 
• Luckily for me, I find the humour in most everything cos that big airline is a joke. 
• It takes most families forever to save up for a family vacation and to be treated so blah is a shame. 
• Yes, I know that 90% of the general public are rude obnoxious and demanding but don't get a job working with them if you can't handle it. I don't!
• I started flying as a very young child and we dressed for the occasion and the stewards and hostesses were polite. Maybe it's time to act like flying is something special again and not the bus. 

compliments

A friend of mine has a brother, well she has a couple, but she has one in particular who has a thing for me. I found this out not five minutes after my divorce and I laughed cos frankly I am so not ready to entertain any thoughts of a man in my life. I have met him and he is nice but every single member of this family is lovely and I have known them forever so thinking about them in a different light...NO.

She mentions him occasionally and makes suggestions, not those sorts of suggestion, suggestions like, why don't we get together and i say, no thank you. A couple of situations have arisen where we would be at the same place at the same time but I have usually had to change my plans but this weekend we were at the same place. First off I was working and my kiddoes we with me at the house and unbeknownst to me he was there. Apparently he made a huge impression on the kids. They told me what a nice person he is and Lily went as far to say that if I wanted to date him she approved, Where the heck did that come from. She said when I finished work and appeared he got all goofy and tongue tied, I sadly didn't notice, I was not paying attention to him.

Later that night we were at a party together and  the man was funny. I didn't realise that he was flirting. I truly must be thick as a plank cos it took 2 people to point it out. I'm out of the dating circle. I will say however that it was really really nice to have someone be so sweet and kind. "he" was so attentive and paid me compliments, did you hear that, he paid me compliments!

I don't have any interest in dating, I have my girls to raise, it's a full time job, and I have a job and that little thing called school. I'm spread pretty thin right now and I am also deliriously happy with where I am in life. i was married ridiculously young and I am loving this independence so much.

Spending time with 'him" would be fun, we love the same kind of stuff but it won't work as our intentions are clearly very very different.

So if you have plans to set me up, place them on hold, or not, chances are I won't notice anyway.

living for thursdays

Since starting school I live for Thursdays. Once I file Thursday away for the week I am as a free as a bird until Monday. I am loving being so focused and just wish I could get through all of this a whole lot faster. I am hoping that once I get into subjects that I love that I can add more credits per semester. Get 'er done.

The girls have fallen back in to their school routines with no problems at all. I wasn't familiar with Rosies teacher  as for the first time she isn't following in her sisters footsteps. I was a little wary for the first day and then I realised she is amazeballs and I love her. Rosie will flourish under her tutelage.

I have a runner. Lily joined the running team and was immediately placed on the varsity team. This makes me laugh, a lot. Child is a swimmer and if you remember way back, she broke her arm during a short sprint during dry land training. Girly is thoroughly uncoordinated, thoroughly. I signed the waiver that stated, child could get hurt or even killed, and thought, sh*t, how many more casts are in her future. Oh well. I firmly believe that if you live through childhood with no scars you have no stories to tell. My sibs and I all have many battle scars and most started with fun. My seester wears most of the scars but my brother assures her they were all fun!

We are still trying to find as activity for Rosie at school but mainly they are things girly won't touch with a stick, dancing, and cheer leading. Yea, not her cup of tea.  I'm hoping she can start basket ball or something that appeals to the little Tomboy.

My brother and sister are bogged down with "stuff" and I hate not being there to help out and offer support. I love them dearly and wish I could carry some of the load. 

last weekend we were being threatened by a tropical storm, that was meant to be a hurricane and then downgraded to a tropical storm and by the time it got here it was only a depression. As much as I am thankful for that it makes me crazy that the media hypes it up, up, up. I have a very anxious child and as much as I play it straight with her, hearing all the nonsense at school just made her a basket case. Once the crazy thunder and lightening started she was a wreck. Arghh.

I try to empower her and let her feel she is in control. I had a light bulb moment that ended like this:

nutter

By giving her a flashlight that she wears she knows the second the power goes out she will be OK. She thinks that the second the power goes out I will crank up the generator. yea, not so much.

bullets, it's how I roll

• I have so much to say.
• My sista from another mister is the best
• I am no longer the mother of children that are on a swim team
• I am changing my life.
• I am a student
• I've gotta do this.
• Have no idea if I even want to blog anymore
• I have so much catching up to do ~ if I want to continue
• If you are friends with me on facebook and friends with the unhusband that presents a huge problem for me, This was my private place, not one to be shared!!

to trust or not

Yesterday afternoon I was involved in a conversation that has left me thinking, deeply. I had to drop Lily as school so that she could go to the old folks home and volunteer. There was only a small group and as we all waited for the bus a conversation started about trust.

We were discussing phones and tablets, and social media. One mum said she had a problem with her daughter telling too many family secrets. I said Lily doesn't post much but she flicks through inst*gram liking every single post and that drives me nuts. You can't like everything and now it is recorded in history forever that you like fluffy unicorns. It's weak child and you are not weak. I said I have all of Lily's passwords and I check what is going on. It isn't that I don't trust her but it's my job to check she is safe and also not posting anything offensive.

Well, once I said that I trust her, a particular teacher, whom I'll call Queen, said, I don't trust my kids, at all. She said you cannot trust children.

 Seriously???

In my opinion, trust is earnt. She said when we were their age we could be trusted but now we live in a different world and you just cannot trust them.

WTH?

I do trust Lily, she has earnt it. That doesn't however mean that I don't keep a close eye on her. Trust and total freedom are 2 different things. (And this is just how I feel.) She talks to me about so much, we as a family do not have secrets from each other, at least this side of the family doesn't. Does this mean that as she gets a little older she won't start being sneaky? No of course not but I have to trust her until she proves otherwise. I always tell her and have from day one to trust me. I had to prove myself to her as an adoptive parent that I was worthy of her trust so not to trust in return makes no sense.

She is very aware that trust is sacred and can be broken very easily and once it is broken it may never be rebuilt.

What do you think? Do you or did you trust your kiddies?

just like that

Three weeks ago this Sunday the girls and I went to visit one of my clients under the guise of seeing her puppy. Now I have to say that when you do the work I do it is very very personal and clients share a lot. A lot. Over 15 years this lady and I have gone through many things together. I always joke with her that I should have hit the ground running the first time I set eyes on her as nothing about her care has been textbook. NOTHING.

I knew that the Sunday text to come over was out of character. I was busy painting the banister and the kids were doing stuff also. I packed everything up, leapt into the shower and took off. She hadn't been feeling well for a few weeks. I still have the text from me to her that says, "ok enough. please make an appt to see dr." She had seen the doctor the Thursday before and when I got to her she wanted me to read her MRI results.

They weren't good, at all. My girls and her daughter went for a walk with the puppy to keep my girls out of the loop. Her and I sat on her bed and read the report word for word. After a couple of hours the girls and I left and I went back the next morning for her appointment. Things were different. She was nauseous and positioning awkward at best. We made arrangements for the usual follow up appointment on Weds but It didn't happen.

I received this text the next day: don't come. In ER. cancer.  breast. liver. bone.

And just like that life changes. BAM

It takes the wind out of your sails.

I went to see her on Monday. 2 weeks after seeing her in her home and I pushed her wheel chair down into the garden so she could get some sun on her face to help with the serious case of jaundice. We talked about serious things and we did what we do which is laugh and make light. We ditched her dad for a few minutes at her request so that she could breath.

53 years old and in a fight for her life. She is in one of the best cancer hospitals around. She has a team of doctors on 3 continents working and researching. Each day the news gets a little grimmer. The list now includes blood and lymph HOWEVER it isn't over. This fight isn't lost. Cancer research is changing daily. When you have access to the best you have a much better chance. It isn't going to be easy and she knows this.   Chemo 3 times a day is hard on a body and she is paying that price.

I received a call from her Mum this morning, "S needs you, she feels like hell".  And so it has begun. Constant trips to one of the most sobering places on earth. A hospital that changes lives. A place where  no one is immune and bald heads are the norm. Shuffling instead of walking, sipping instead of gulping. People shy away when the diagnosis is that of cancer, they withdraw. Don't withdraw. offer a smile and a hand. I make sure from the second I drop my car with the valet that I SPREAD the biggest smile on my face and put a bounce in my step. I tone it down in her room but I keep it positive.


Life can change in an instant. Her life is changing every second. Her kids have this look on their faces of fear and it isn't skin deep. I hug them and thell them to call me if they need anything. Of course what they need, a healthy mummy, isn't something I can do.

"S" is the CEO of a company. She is on the top of her game, always. Nothing gets by her.

One little detail that she overlooked. Her mammogram.

No point in telling her how stupid that was, I think she might have figured it out. Don't skip your mammos ladies. It truly isn't worth it.