Thursday, October 29, 2015

unknowns

This morning shortly after I awoke the BBC alerted my phone of a breaking news story.

The Chinese Government has finally changed it's one child policy. I read it and gasped. I wasn't sure what it meant to me at that very second but I knew that it was huge and I found myself apologizing to two particular birthmothers whom, had this law changed sooner, might still have their daughters with them.

I wasn't sure how much, if at all, this would effect me.

My mind has bounced around all day hitting many emotions but I have yet to land on one that seems to fit. The magnitude of it all is at the forefront of all my thoughts but why? Will it really change anything? China is still a country steeped in 1000's of years of culture and tradition, it is still run by a communist government. Money is scarce and 2 children will make life even harder. Boys will still be the golden children and girls a sorry second best

Although I don't know the surroundings of either of the girls births and subsequent reasons for adoptions I believe it is very possible that the one child policy had something to do with it. Possibly with Rosie the overwhelming medical bills due to her heart condition may also have played into the equation. Had this law changed sooner both girls might still be in China.

How was I going to tell them. That was simple, I blurted it out. I didn't mean to, I meant to use tact and feel them out first but it just spewed out. Lily said, Oh and carried on with her breakfast and Ro looked perplexed and asked a question about her birth mum and was done.

At one point I actually felt guilty for having them here with me, I felt like I had cheated the birth parents. As with most things, as the dust startled to settle, I realised, for our family, nothing changed, No shoe dropped and no one purchased tickets home. Not all families are going to be so lucky, many kiddoes struggle with their stories and this will not make life easier for them.

I hope that soon, DNA banks will open and the possibility of uniting birth parents and children becomes the norm. One of mine has no interest, the other does, but not to live there Mama, just to know.

So as my day winds down, my heart aches for women who possibly are even more heart broken and angry today than ever before.

I will always remain grateful to the Peoples Repbulic and will always remain puzzled by it.

2 comments:

  1. I had mixed emotions about it too. That selfish part of me is grateful for it because Briana is now my amazing daughter and we have a wonderful life. Then the other part of me thinks about the sad sacrifice that had to be made. I don't think things in China will change all that quickly. The only immediate difference (I think) will be that people won't life in fear now if they have more than one child and they won't get penalized. That's a good thing.

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