Tuesday, August 26, 2014

hot, humid and heartwarming

On this day 11 years ago we were in China, the temperatures were way over 110 degrees and we were heading off to the civil affairs office to become parents. PARENTS. holy sh*t. I knew, deep down inside that once they called every ones name we would still be standing there with empty arms because the government would have changed their minds and decided, no baby for you! Parenting is all I have ever wanted. No fancy degree, no shingle to hang, no big time career, just MUMMY. So I knew, it was going to be a bust. I had never heard of it happening but I was sure, bone scared in fact. I couldn't even share that fact, it was my secret and my secret alone.

I dragged along the worlds biggest diaper bag, and all the unnecessary items for a 14 month old that you could ever possibly need in any possible scenario, just in case they decided I could fulfill my life long dream.

As the names were called I was deaf, oblivious to everything I was scanning the babies for Lily and I saw her. She was dressed in yellow and quite fidgety. I tried to concentrate but it was so so hard. Finally there she was. I could feel her, smell her, touch her, hold her and kiss her. The hole in my heart had gone. Gone.

But my poor little baby girl was terrified, she was scared to death. Her world had just been turned upside down. No warning just a hand off and the people that looked liked her, smelled like her and sounded familiar to her had dashed from the room. She teeny tiny heart broke and she sobbed, great big tears.

Slowly her world righted itself and in spite of us being first time parents she survived. Then she flourished and now she is Lily.

My wonderful, sassy, confident, funny, so so smart, beautiful, head strong, athletic Lily, who has the soul of the many generations that have lived before her. A child who is growing so so fast. A child who showed me what love really is all about and a child that made my biggest dream come true.

One of the photos given to us by the orphanage taken when she was little.
With us in Hong Kong on our way home.
She didn't smile to much those first few days. she had scabies, ear infections in both ears, a chest infection, a sinus infection and a myriad of other ailments that must have added up to make life pretty unpleasant. She was stuck in a plane for 27 hours and didn't make a peep. She was and still is, as tough as nails. I taught her that it is okay to cry but she still will do everything in her power not to. She is tough. How tough? Chinese orphanage tough. And I love her.


  1. Sniff, sniff....just hand me the kleenex! That last paragraph had me......she is one tough girl who was meant to have you as her mamma!

  2. Love this post....happy anniversary of your Gotcha and Family Day! You are one of the best mummies I know, and better looking than the Egyptian ones (smirk).